During my studies I dropped over a travel blog. An article of the author had been published at the online version of one of the largest German newspapers. In the interview the author had given an introduction on why he was traveling and what he had experienced so far. After reading the interview I immediately checked his blog. I enjoyed his shared content. The way the information was provided in addition with the clearness and the accuracy of the profound information triggered my attention. I got lost in his attention to detail. As a conclusion I followed his articles he published which were dealing with his travels.
One day he published an article concerning his doubts he was experiencing during his travels. The article immediately triggered my attention again. It´s not that the content provided was totally new for me. But I do not remember that I ever read an article in this context. Until this time the author was mainly promoting himself as a travel expert. But now he started to mix the articles in terms of his travel experiences with articles where he was explaining his feelings which he was experiencing during his travels. From now on he was sharing several articles emphasizing his goals he wanted to achieve. Additionally he was sharing personal stories he had experienced in the past. In general topics such as self reflection and self development became more important. This was highly acknowledged by his fellowship. Also from my side. I was reading almost everyone of his articles where he was talking about self development and figuring out his personality aspects.
The turning point
Suddenly a thought popped up in my mind. How can you reveal so much about yourself publicly? The point is that he was sharing deep insights in terms of his own personality as well as his daily behavior. As much as I enjoyed following his content I started to doubt if it was okay to do so. In a certain way my attention towards him reduced a little bit as I assessed that it was too much what he was publishing about himself. I started judging his behavior. I was telling the following to myself: I would never share these kind of thoughts publicly. So you should also not do so. The kind of thoughts you´re sharing are totally private. And I am the one who defines what is private and what is not.
Much later he started a second blog. He had reduced traveling hence there was no need for further articles dealing about his travels. He had chosen to increase blogging about topics like self development and creating healthy habits in daily life. Although my doubts had not reduced I followed his second blog as I assessed the shared content still as being insightful and valuable.
Why I write so publicly
One day he published an article titled „Why I write so publicly“. He stated good reasons on why he was sharing so much in terms of his own personality and his experiences. I felt good reading that he had recognized that he was acting very openly and that he was sharing a lot of things which people will connect with him personally. But still I was not able to say: “Hell Yeah – that´s great. You´re doing it the right way. Keep on moving.”
Yes. In terms of a financial perspective it was obvious to keep on moving. It was more that I was still feeling a certain kind of restriction. A silent voice was talking to me from the inside: “From a moral perspective it´s still wrong to write so much about yourself and share these deep insights.“ It´s interesting to experience that although he had mentioned reasonable arguments on why to write publicly in such a deep sense I was not able to give him credits for that. On the one hand I admired him. On the other hand I felt repelled by acting in such an open manner. Especially by knowing that he was not writing for friends. Him being present within one of the largest German newspapers can be considered as his media breakthrough. Since that he was mainly writing for total strangers.
Back to present
Ten years later I am writing this article. In addition I am sharing it online. Within this article and within the articles uploaded until now as part of this website I have shared deep insights in terms of my personality aspects. In addition I am sharing my way of thinking as well as personal experiences. What has happened to me?
Increase of knowledge
I have finally recognized that for a long time I was making a distinction between the offline world and the online world. Let´s elaborate that a little more.
During the recent years I have spoken to a huge amount of different people all across the world. When a connection sparked between us then usually I acted in a very open manner. However if I felt a certain kind of restriction usually I did not share much about me. What always gave me a good feeling was knowing that the content we had shared was only between us. No one ever would get a notice of it as nothing was shared online. For a long time I considered this as the most pleasant way to have a talk. One on one. No further listeners. The content stays between both of us. Our secrets. Pure privacy. Best situation imaginable.
Since two years I´m recognizing that my attitude is changing. I recognize that when I meet random people in daily life or better say in the offline world I am able to share some of my weaknesses even with total strangers. I feel that I am in possession of a bunch of things which I am able to share with anyone.
So when I recognized the change in terms of my attitude it became obvious that it does not matter if I talk to someone in the offline world or if I post an article on my website. Because my articles are being read by human beings. They´re being read by you. In the end it´s the same. It does not matter if we meet in the offline world or in the online world. The content reaches a human being. And the shared or discussed content will simply be the same.
So what do I write about?
Here´s the answer: I write about everything what I would tell any stranger whom I will meet in the offline world anyway. It does not matter if I enjoy the company of the stranger or not. It does not matter if we share the same values or not. It´s simply about the content. For example, when I talked to people about traveling usually someone asked: “Which country did you enjoy most?”. Then I responded: “Vietnam. I rode a motorbike for more than 1000 kilometers through the country but then I had to interrupt due to an accident.”. Obviously people started to ask: “Oh, how did that happen?”. So I was telling the story about my motorbike accident in Vietnam. Something which I considered as something being totally private for a very long time.
But I was telling the story to everyone who asked me. I was not able to hide it. I was not able to hide myself. From a moral perspective it would have feel wrong to say something stupid like: “Sorry, this is private.”. Then I should not have started talking about Vietnam at all. Then I should not have started a conversation at all. But the truth is that from a moral perspective it would have feel wrong not to share my mistakes which have led to the accident. Imagine one day the person I was talking to will decide by himself or herself to travel by motorbike through Vietnam. Maybe my shared knowledge would have helped that person in order to avoid the situation I faced. Meaning having such a terrible accident.
Conclusion
I consider it as very meaningful that I finally understood for myself why I´m able to write publicly. It´s very meaningful to finally understand that in no way it´s morally wrong to share thoughts and feelings publicly. The recipient will ALWAYS be a human being. Someone whom I might have met in the offline world either way.
So before publishing an article I´m thinking of a fictive stranger who does not share any of my values and where it´s very unlikely that if we meet in the offline world a connection will spark between us. I imagine that this kind of person will read my article. So the question is: What am I willing to tell that kind of person?
That´s my measuring stick. I write about everything what I will tell that kind of person anyway. Even if that person considers me as an enemy or at least someone he or she does not want to be friends with. In a certain way I consider this to be the worst case scenario. That someone with bad intentions is reading my thoughts and intends to use them against me.
Holy words
So I share any thoughts from which I have no problem at all if anyone intends to „use them against me“. I share any thought from which I feel totally comfortable with when someone who detects it shares it with a friend or submits it to a broadcasting station. I share any thought from which I feel totally fine with if someone prints it out, hangs it upon his or her table, points his or her finger on it and starts laughing for the duration of one hour. If the laughter can be increased by printing out a photograph of myself and placing it next to the thought I´m fine with.
That´s what I write about.
Any thoughts on this can be sent privately to send@realthoughts.me or publicly via the comment function below
Martin